Am I a...

"What humanists believe


Humanism is an approach to life based on humanity and reason – humanists recognise that moral values are properly founded on human nature and experience alone and that the aims of morality should be human welfare, happiness and fulfillment. Our decisions are based on the available evidence and our assessment of the outcomes of our actions, not on any dogma or sacred text.

• Humanism is a naturalistic view, encompassing atheism and agnosticism as responses to theistic claims, but is an active and ethical philosophy greater than these reactions to religion.
• Humanists believe in individual rights and freedoms, but believe that individual responsibility, social cooperation and mutual respect are just as important.
• Humanists believe that people can and will continue to find solutions to the world's problems, so that quality of life can be improved for everyone.
• Humanists are positive, gaining inspiration from our lives, art and culture, and a rich natural world.

Humanists believe that we have only one life, it is our responsibility to make it a good life, and to live it flourishingly"

...humanist?

Design. Creativity. Internet. Media. Social platforms. Mobile networking. Online. Social trends.

IDEO, an innovative company which is constantly trying to invent new solutions to already existing 'good' things, heat concept, the new ATM, is a creator of a, so called Design thinking, based on the Architecture/Design/Anthropology (A/D/A) paradigm. There is a book, reviews, videos, and articles from well known academic institutions positively reviewing IDEO's way to innovation. Now, if you noticed recently, creativity is on the increase. If you regularly read journals regarding economy, business, social trends, and education, it has been a topic clearly repeated in different contextes. It might be that Daniel H. Pink is right when he is saying that the whole of the manufacturing, linear, left brain thinking jobs (including the accounting and financing) are offshoring to the countries in the rise, Africa, Asia, Brasil. Statistically, it is easy to understand without going into the psyche. The number of universities I saw, just in China, really makes it evident that they will catch up fast with the linear knowledge, and be able to offer the non-creative, non-innovative kind of services. So what is left, yes, the left part of the brain: concepts, stories, patterns, bigger picture, out of the box.

The interesting thing is that if you look at quantum physics, it is clearly explain that quants -> vibrations compose materia. Looking at a neuro discoveries, via meditation, psychology, and alternative practices, our consciousness can pick up these vibrations, depending on the level of awareness, and process them as feelings. The feelings than correspond with emotional patterns which depend many factors of personal growth, which transform into ideas. The evolution from physical, over mental to emotional is happening, some authors would argue.

The technological platforms clearly give an incredible sandbox in which these trends are transmitted. They were always there, in one way or another, but the general mainstream perception towards, once-upon, 'geeky-stuff', is radically changing. Yet these are not the same linear programmers, or, so called, geeks. Once yet, but it was devoid of human-centred focus, emotions, thus it was very foreign. Today, it is ALL ABOUT the human-centred programming and creation. This is where Design kicks in.

....

no words left

...

I fucking hate it when I have a perfect thing in my mind.

It is going and going inside of my head, and I just want to put it down.

I am late.

By the time I get to write it, it becomes vague.

An utter piece of rubbish. 

Miserable copy of the original.

Bullshit.

Of course I will delete it.

I am angry.

fucking sake. 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

& 

a!

aggression

Pulsing it explodes
Once hidden in the stone
It is energy moving, chaos in my breath.
It is a feeling which, inside me, slept.
I've controlled it, and fought it.
Yet it always came back, to haunt me.
We sat down, smoke the pipe.
Had anew a meeting, a conversation, no fight.
From enemy, it became an ally.
an ally to use when I feel abused.
no more passivity, no more bruised.
no more snooze, no more blues.

ask and u shall receive.

"I bargained with life for a penny

and life would pay no more,

however, I begged at evening

when I counted my scanty store;

For life is a just employer

he gives you what you ask

but, once you have set the wages

why, you must bear the task;

I worked for a menial's hire

only to learn dismayed

that any wage I had asked of life,

life would have willingly paid."

outwards.

the world only reflects how you behave to your own heart.

heartless chosen leaders.

illusion of being to change them so we can feel better.

illusion to do something physical or mental to feel better.

to physically or mentally feel better, is a perceptual error. 

7 year cycles.

vibrational in the womb.

the emotional as a child.

the intellectual as a teenage. 

the physical as an adult. the transfixed.

later on, in the search of oneself. 

we reverse this pathway of awareness.

we go from the physical

you take on a posture

than to the mental

the use of words with an intent to activate a feeling

through the feeling, we interact with the vibration.

of what we are.

whether we are aware of it as a humanity.

we are a garden.  of souls.

as it move towards an evolutionary experience.

it goes in the same direction.

civilisations same direction.

the caveman - buff. physical mentality.

such a long time. 1000 years.

the mental - o the machinery 

fast... it peaked! 100 years.

the emotional - the increasing need for self-meaning.

known among the industries of business. the 'soft' things.

just got here.

theres a good awareness of mental body.

what about the emotional?

whenever there is someone talking from the heart.

we kill him. or we worship him. we mentally put him to as a head of a religion. 

describe! describe! describe!

mental concepts.

by the time you are in the school. 

the emotional aspect of the being is put aside.

Most of the people who enter any kind of work with the emotions are between 7 and 14 years old - emotional years.

you can see it

watch the politicians behave.

like kids in the playground

trying to beat each other up

we are always operating from the level of emotional development

teenage adult period - we are feeling unintegrated, uncomfortable.

we have, to say, needs and wants which have not been met!

it causes us to lean over in the world!

what do we do?

we walk around, leaning over. 

and we see some one else, leaning over, in the exact opposite way.

and we go: LOVE!!!

so the other person is gonna go: it is soo goood!

we lean on each other. and we think that is what love is.

once it is really cool. we get married.

married is a whole thing. it is great to approach it! 

everybody is on the best behaviour! la la la

and than u sleep together.

no right of passage. no finding your own energy.

sleep together. and u sleep in someone else's energy.

someone is going to take over the room.

and the other person is going to wake up.

and go. who's room is this?!

and he will go and find a sense of himself somewhere.

so he'll go and play golf.

sense of space. because lack of space within.

when together. recognition of the unintegrated emotional body in somebody else.

that is what is recognised. 

because. our idea of love is given to us by the age of 7.

however we are treated by the age of 7.

imprints our emotional body with a particular feeling.

and that particular feeling. is not produced when we meet the person.

because whenever we meet each other and fall in love.

we are on our best behaviour!

but that energy.

the unintegrated emotional body signature

is not seen with these eyes

and even the emotional body awareness is shut down

its not really that is shut down.

its theres no acces to it.

its working all the time.

research in UK.

conclusion. people with most similar childhood issues.

got attracted.

u expect the other person to fulfil those needs and wants

mummy? daddy?

obviously when they turn into that role to fullfil the need for love.

who the hell is going to sleep with ur mummy or daddy.

it just ain't sexy.

the end. it is over.

so go. look for the lover.

because only the lover can lead into the intimacy.

because of the indoctrination.

we see it through. find a good reason. kids! 

it becomes very challenging and uncomfortable in the relationship.

what is really happening.

our inner child starts freaking out! the emotional body.

but we dont know that. so we are still going do the inner child work.

so we pop out some children.

and we work on it on the outside.

so we tune our children as our unintegrated emotions to work on it.

on goes the vicious cycle.

because that program is SO powerful.

unless go through it and experienced it.

it is very hard to enter intimacy.

marriage could be like a rite of passage for intimacy.

it is such a powerful program. it is embedded in the culture.

intimacy is not the part of that journey.

it is not about the other person. marriage is. intimacy is about an experience.

intimacy is not - coming together to be with you.

its about me coming together with you to explore and experience.

it begins with the relationship towards myself.

relationship with the heart.

metaphor for the relationship with the self.

it is by having a relationship with the feelings.

having a relationship with 'god'

with the feelings.

having a relationships with where you are now.

it is with the feelings.

experience.

the relationship with the self, is the microcosm of the macrocosm of all other relationships that you will have.

relationships, directly with the family, partner, daily people, mirror of the relationship with the self.

maybe not paying attention, maybe pushing the feelings down, pushing the feelings down is the same as pushing people away, it will look like people pushing away.

looking at the outside to see what is inside. 

integrity part.

how sound is the structure?

authenticity. author of experience? imprinting. impact of childhood. 

emotional body is the causal point of the quality of the experience

integrity of the building. how sound is structure. sound and structured through the experience. being aware, what part of the emotional body, what part of mental body, what part of physical body has to do with the experience. for what do you go to the emotional body, for what to you go to the physical body, for what do you go to the mental body for. 

unless aware of those things. unless established integrity. there is no way.

can there be intimacy with another person.

because intimacy with another person. is based on having this experiential understanding.

conscious relationship.

Lens.

It is night time. Not too late - quite early actually, I grab my already worn out camera, put the jacket of the same colour and exit through the door. The room felt like a cage. Maybe it was my heart calling for attention, nervousness, feeling of discomfort. I just couldn't get my mind to pay all the attention to it, maybe  I already overdid it today. Drilling deep is arduous, overdoing it can make me fall in, after which I get spit out. As a roller coaster. I need a change of environment.

Passing down the corridor, I notice how empty it is. The corridor. A hospital-yellowish creamy walls, with small lanterns and a grey rugged hotel carpet. It reminds me of those american movies, especially Lost in Translation. I am like Bob Harris, or Murray, as his real name is. These things around, don't understand me. It is another world, not made out of my choice. The presence hits me again and I am exiting the elevator. I presume I was on unconscious auto-pilot mode. I can never remember the small details when it stops.

I am sitting in the seat. All these people around me. Too close, I think to myself. It is not natural, we are suffocating each other. Everybody is pretending not to look at each other. So they stare at the window, which reveals nothing but a black wall and their own reflections, or at the small, probably overpriced, uninspiring advert, sitting close to the ceiling of the train. A cracking voice with an indian accent alerts the arrival to the next station through the hidden speakers, I grab my camera and stand up. Charring Cross, it is written on the walls in some old british letters. A lot of tourists, you can notice them by taking too long to pick a direction once disembarked the train. I am one myself, I think. In this town, it seems that everybody is one...

Blaming others for the quality of our life experience is futile

The victor and victim role play is in reality denial and delusion. The focus on chaos and increased outer human drama is a result of an inauthentic, unconscious, and programmed approach to living. The outer conflicts triggering us emotionally in a uncomfortable way reflect our states of unintegrated inner turmoil. Not integrated and nowhere to run away from - the only thing left is to blame other people for our emotional turmoil.

It is like driving but looking at the rear-mirror and reacting to it.

Internet.

I sometimes think that internet is an evil tit. Yes, a tit. It doesn't have milk. It has information. More addictive than cocaine. You don't get answers from deep inside of you. You don't have time. You are served. 20 thousand words per minute. Information. Billion of pictures. Million of movies.
Internet is others subconscious screaming loud at you.
The only problem is, our genetics are not as fast as a regular speed of new tweets. There is no peace on internet. It is interactive. There to entertain you. At you own will, in speeds of milliseconds. See the new Facebook kids, and compare them to a rural kid which still plays with its toys in nature. I prefer the kid forest child. It is more authentic.
I like authenticity.

blurp.

when a small child died, a bird was born. it killed everything and was never scorn.
it was then that it knew what she has done and gone away.
in the forest where it doesn't rain. with the trees than don't shine or glimmer.
like diamonds on the hands of pretty blonds. dolls and puppets with their strings attached.
dolls manipulating or manipulated by their wounds. wood so deep - scratched you can hear its screams
the terrifying winter and glowing snowflakes. on the child's' shining cheek. teeth white with smile.
in a land where down is up and up is down, airplanes going up but hit the ground.
whatever whenever it is born.
never there was a wall
which not broken it was
by the bombs or what nature has
storms and thunders quakes and water
let it pour til the last drop. glasses everywhere, millions of them on the beach=========

fuck.

decide.

Are you familiar with those days where everything seems slow, everything can happen but is not happening, things could materialise but they keep on waiting, on and on and on? Than suddenly, someone, somewhere, presses a fast forward button, and your brain suddenly activates, as if caffein rushed high on speed full of excitement going just under the limit where everything falls apart. Oh, sounds terrific. But, it is not. I lived them through, too many times.

I like to call them (or calling myself more precisely): not realising yourself - failed to act upon the inner feeling, fucking slowmo. 

I find it very similar to the experience where you are in decision-making situation. The decision HAS to be made. To go left. Right? Right is better! Yet left is not bad too. But you know I have this nudge about right. Maybe it is because I am left handed so I don't ...    and *BOOM*!  Congratulations, you just picked up the street sign and finished in the window of a boutique store. 

Not deciding is a decision in itself. I don't know. I am not sure. Yeah, those too.

The lush eyebrows.

"Devastating as it can sound, it is necessary to learn the rules of, well, everything really. Just so one day you can break them!". He prodded at the boy. Words carried an aura of self adoration, fortunately John was too young to conceptualise it. His big eyes seemed to visualise every sound muttered by the old man, absorbing everything.

"You see, my dear boy, people run away from themselves. Even at young age. They seem to enter a faint of some kind. It is truly a horrible thing to see! Oh yes.. certainly it is! There is no more joy. No more sadness in their eyes. Sucked dry, they look. Small things become big in their eyes. It is all a big lie. To cover themselves, ..yes, ...I see you understand. To cover up all that rotten energy stuck in their memories, experiences, and ah... the thing you cannot cheat misunderstand fake, their own feelings! Such is the nature of everything, movement. Stopping means death. Remember that boy. Never stop any feelings from its coming, and its disappearing. Never stop changing. Never stop yourself from feeling the pulse of life. All of the emotions are the pulse. They come and go. As long as you don't forget how broad the life is. It is essential my dear nephew. There will be times when you will not want to feel something. Contracting, stopping everything, trying to control yourself. Do not EVER do that! Do you hear me!" John gave a slight nod opening his eyes even wider. "Always balance! Especially in anything concerning yourself! Creating and destroying is balance too! It is the law of impermanence! If you could only reason properly you would understand: there are no ordinary moments. They do not repeat. You and I will never have a conversation like this. We can repeat these words, we can recreate everything! Yet, somewhere inside of us, it will not be the same. Outside of us! It will not be the same! Remember that. Do not arrogantly think that the moments are the same. That nothing is happening. Feelings are always moving. World is always changing. Mind can pull that trick on you. Boredom is just an illusion, a contraction of everything. It is a kickstart made as to evade unpleasant moments. Yet they are the same as the pleasant ones, if one was not conditioned by past. Oh my dear boy. This must be terribly complex for your young mind to understand. I am passing such a heavy burden on you. But I must. I must! Your parents are too absorbed in their own pain and fear. They do not see it. They do not see anyone around them. Stuck in a fantasy world they are. Irresponsible of their own experiences! Ah! People can be so irresponsible! Yet, you cannot but love them!" The old men went silent.

His lush white eyebrows were towering the pair of blue eyes. He pulsed, with all his body, and a smile appeared. "It is a beautiful thing love. Love is willingness to evolve. To change! Joy that it brings. Even terrible sadness can bring joy after it has moved! Ah I must not forget! Nowadays people tend to use 'love' as a synonym for their need as to not feel things hidden deep inside. It is not love, it is a conditional fix, conditioned by past, so they feel the same way they did as young. Never mind that boy. We must move on. Fear! Do not ever fear! Fear is a thing of past and future. Not now. Not here. When you fear, you must dissolve your mind, and return to your feelings. Only ideas can bring you fear! Other people will create ideas in your head! They will try! No one wants you to find your own ideas! They want you to believe theirs, going as far as telling you what to do and what is good for you! The key is: always first gather information from the inside, stop doing it from the outside. That way you will not get lost in others ideas. People tend to think they are their thoughts, and it brings them all kind of sadness. Which brings us to the present moment. Now. Do you remember the time you wanted that silly purple toy? You cried and wanted it! Once you finally got it, what happened?"

The boy instantly answered "I played with it!".

"But for how long John?" the old men slowly asked.

"Well, a bit!  it wasn't what I exactly thought it is going to be like" the child happily answered.

"Yes my dear boy, such is the nature of things. We suffer for wanting something, and finally once we get it, we suffer because we cannot hold on to it, the idea, the moment, the object etc,. There will be things you will not be able to get, and you will suffer because of it too! Forgetting what happened the last time, every time. So it is impossible to know what is coming, or what is what is certainly the result going to be like. Technically, materialistically, yes. Our own feelings and energy, no. It is always the now which brings the undoubted joy. Feeling the joy of the present moment, will give you more energy to live a passionate life.  To enjoy every sensation you come across. Every shape. Every sound, touch, smell and feeling. As long as you remain detached from them, you will be in now, and joyful of everything changing.  Living the life passionately while remaining detached, will make the biggest impact, on you, your close ones, and humanity. Things made during such a state are never ignored by people. They vibrate with something which resonated on the same frequency as life. But beware! This is not better than any other way of living. You will never be better than anybody else.  The same way, you will never be less than anybody else.  All of this is NOT about perfection, or victory, or invulnerability. Is is about absolute vulnerability. That is the true courage of living. This is not about stupid decisions! So don't try to fight 10 boys in order to prove you are absolutely vulnerable! You will just get beaten up. This is about your 'inside'. It is about here, and here, and here. Inside. Remember it."

Silence followed, it seemed unnatural after the long discourse the old men presented to John. The boy sat on the edge of his chair, with eyes still wide open, ready to jump and laugh. All of these ideas went into him and disappeared. Not leaving a single trace of confusion or doubt. John was really listening. He was not distracted by concepts, ideas and arguments. He did not form an answer, as to agree or disagree. He felt his uncles' discourse from within. It vibrated in his body. It came, and went. John joyfully smiled at the old men. He received a wide smile back. "You little brat!" laughed the old men". You are too young to understand! Too innocent to forget how it is to be living with angst, anxiety, grief and bitterness. I am jealous of you my dearest boy! Enough of my blabbering! Now go off! Go play with your friends and enjoy it all!"

The boy gave a short laugh grinning, and jumped of his seat. After picking up his jacket, he started walking towards the door.

"John."

The boy turned.

"One last thing I want to tell you. The ones who are hardest to love, need it the most. Don't forget that" the old man smiled.

"I won't!" John ecstatically said and left through the old heavy wooden doors.